What Trust Is

Trust is increasingly recognized as an essential element of successful personal relationships, effective teamwork, and large-scale commercial relationships. The amount citizens of one country trust the residents of another has even been shown to correlate with the amount of trade between the countries.

Evaluating the level of trust in a relationship is an often evaded and sometimes sensitive task. My work coaching top executives and facilitating work groups has taught me that the “trust topic” is much easier to discuss once we realize that trust has at least five to constitutive components. Examining each aspect of trust,one by one, leads us to better judgments and more fruitful conversations.


When we say that we trust or mistrust a person it means that we have evaluated their:

1. Sincerity – Does what the person says match their internal conversation? Are they telling us what they honestly believe and truly intend? Once a person establishes a reputation for Read the rest of this entry »

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© Tony Mayo except as otherwise noted
For Executive Coaches, For Executives.

The asymmetry of give and take

Boaz Keysar

The Great Recession has led many of my executive coaching clients to reduce 401(k) contributions, celebrations, work hours (through furloughs), and cut other employee perqs. These leaders often explain the reductions as prudent adjustments to avoid layoffs. Employees, unfortunately, are likely to react by becoming less trusting and cooperative with their employers, as this new research illustrates.

Although people reciprocate kindnesses proportionately, slings and arrows prompt bullets and grenades.

By Laura Putre

“Even something that is not so strong as a vindictive action—something simply perceived as a negative act,” [Professor Boaz] Keysar says, “escalates quickly.”

The researchers paired up participants for several games of give and take. In one a designated leader decided how much of $100 to give to a partner. In another, leaders decided how much of $100 to take from their partners. … Subjects in the study also consistently reacted better to receiving something than to having it taken from them, even when the gift left them with less money, say $30 instead of $50.

Leaders, however, thought they were being fair … “They did not anticipate,” Keysar says, “that the other person was going to perceive them as doing something negative.” What’s more, he discovered that as the game wore on, each successive round saw partners grabbing more and more as they alternated the taking role. Perceiving the takers as selfish, the participants became less generous.

How to avoid the retribution? This paper doesn’t say. Other research suggests laying out the facts for employees and letting them design the adjustments. People are much more supportive of changes they have helped create.




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It pays to trust your employees




Study indicates that employees who are trusted by managers do better work and are more loyal to their employer.

Journal of Management




A Closer Look at Trust Between Managers and Subordinates: Understanding the Effects of Both Trusting and Being Trusted on Subordinate Outcomes

The authors propose that trust in the subordinate has unique consequences beyond trust in the manager. Furthermore, they propose joint effects of trust such that subordinate behavior and intentions are most favorable when there is high mutual trust. Findings reveal unique Read the rest of this entry »

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Leadership in a True Emergency

Lippold of the USS Cole

At Accelerent, I was lucky to meet the commander of the USS Cole and hear his story of the day his destroyer was nearly sunk by al-Qaeda. Kirk Lippold made clear that his ship was saved mostly because of how he led and trained his crew in the years prior to the attack, rather than by any dramatic decisions or heroics on October 12, 2000.

His “Five Pillars of Leadership” are:

Integrity

• Vision

• Personal Responsibility and Accountability

• Trust and Invest

• Professional Competence

He gave a thrilling and informative presentation. I particularly thanked him for illustrating the masterful use of chain of command, maximizing his impact as a leader by improving his officers rather than continually reaching down to personally resolve specific issues.

Click for larger image

The Navy, unfortunately, tends to be rather unforgiving of officers whose ships are damaged so Kirk Lippold never made Captain. The military’s loss is our gain as he tours the country sharing his leadership lessons.

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© Tony Mayo except as otherwise noted
For Executives.
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Self-Inflicted Wounds

Dan Wertenberg

Business owners all seem to be very busy and over-worked. For most of them, the reason is that most of what they are doing is just creating more things that have to be done, instead of making the business more successful.

Want more time to relax? Stop trying to fix everything.

Dan Wertenberg
Serial CEO and Vistage Speaker
(Paraphrased.)




The human immune system is a wondrous mechanism. It detects and destroys invading bacteria, viruses, and debris. It is vigilant 24×7 and extends into every tiny and obscure part of our body. Our immune system is adaptable to changing threats because it learns from and emerges stronger from many infections. A fantastic model for an executive to learn from as she designs monitoring and control systems in a business.

The immune system has a flaw that may also be instructive for managers. It can Read the rest of this entry »

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Conversations that Make a Difference

Here are my basic instructions for conducting a difficult, stressful, or frightening conversation in a way that will create new possibilities for relationship and action.

  1. Get yourself centered.
  2. Help the other person feel safe. “We’re friends and colleagues now and we’ll still be friends and colleagues after this conversation.” Easy on the relationship, rigorous on the topic.
  3. Establish the level of trust: sincerity, capacity, competence, consistency, and care. “I know that you can see when a project is suffering from scope creep and that you will let me know about it.”
  4. Explicitly agree on the shared Read the rest of this entry »

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Tony Mayo, Top Executive Coach, is located in Reston, Virginia 20190